A month’s reflection

July 1, 2012

Pausing to reflect on the first month of my sabbatical, and wanting to take stock of where I am vis. where I had hoped to be be at this time in my reading and study (as well as the other components of personal and family renewal) on the whole, I guess I can say, I’m pleased with the first month’s accomplishments. But I am also, looking ahead, feeling the close of the sabbatical coming into view, as well. This end will lead me, in July, to have substantive goals to achieve and to set the context for my wrapping up in August and preparing to re-enter the life of the parish – the lives of the cherished community that is St. Gabriel the Archangel.

June itself flew by. The first couple weeks were spent at the Center for the Theology of Childhood with Jerome Berryman, who has graciously and with encouragement followed my reading progress and gently prodded me onward. His attempts to have me focus on the buffet before me, choosing delicacies to eat, not at random but rather with some coherence in view are welcome and appreciated, but are needing some heeding on my part. It would be easy for me to either sit and stare in a kind of wide-eyed paralysis at all that is potentially mine to consume, or to dive right in and engorge myself at the table – neither of which are very good options!

Frankly, two factors are at play in my struggles to limit the ‘scanning’ part of this sabbatical. One is that I am enjoying the simple opportunity for sustained reading. Anticipating seminary training and ordination so many years ago, now, the projection in my mind regarding parochial ministry was that it would somehow open wide vistas for reading and reflection upon God, life, understanding the scriptures and so on. Now, I know that there are some pastors who embody this image of the parson sitting in his study in the morning, and traveling throughout out the parish on home-based visitation in the afternoon. Only in Northumberland County, Virginia, while serving a curacy at St. Stephen’s, Heathsville and St. Mary’s, Fleeton, did I have a semblance of this pattern, and even then I lacked the discipline to make the most of that opportunity. So, with the gift of this sabbatical, to actually have a set of books on my study table is amazing in so many ways. Jerome has helped me read with intention and purpose, but I just want to stay put and scan and scan some more. In the week to come it is important that the vision take shape and come into focus.

The other factor that has made focus a challenge have been the several pieces carved out of the reading time. First, the challenge of having home responsibilities with the house itself needing some attention and the two teenagers who are not always content to do their own thing (as long as they have someone around to drive them somewhere, that’s fine). Second, there were three experiences (a retreat led by my friends Dr. Steve Garber and The Rev. Bill Haley hosted by me here in Colorado; the trip to New York and Boston that involved my family going on all manner of transportation – planes, trains, automobiles, buses, taxis, boats; and a three-day intensive “Learning Community” held in McLean, Virginia) that involved a significant amount of planning, preparation and travel in June, and these all took time away from the sustained habit of reading and reflection. This is not to say that they have not been beneficial for the overall project. Quite the contrary! But, as in life itself generally, I will have to be intentional and focused on using the available time in the most productive and fruitful way.

As writer Annie Dillard reminds us, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” I’ll think on that this day.

Today is Sunday, July 1, a day of rest. Monday is another day, another day of work and labor. May it, and all the days, flow toward the next day of rest, but may each day be sufficient unto itself, lived as best I can in coherence with God my Creator and Redeemer, my family and neighbors, as well as with myself.

Along with all this, I’ll also remember the credo of an ancient saint:

I bind unto myself today the strong Name of the Trinity;
by invocation of the same, the Three in One and One in Three.

Postscript: In my next post, I will share some of the content of the three learning opportunities I’ve enjoyed this past month, and post some thoughts on where this project is going…